10. Of course I believe in safe sex. You'll be tied to the bed, so there's very little chance that you'll be injured. Think of the ropes as romantic seat belts.
9. I don't care if you're on your menstrual cycle. I'll follow you home in my Mercury.
8. It'll be okay. I haven't had an open sore in weeks.
7. Most of my sexual partners are fine after a course of antibiotics and several years of psychotherapy.
6. Don't mind that donkey. He's just a beloved family pet who happens to sleep here in my bedroom.
5. I'm actually a virgin. I'm just not very good at it. So be gentle with me. Or not.
4. Those rumors about me being promiscuous? Don't believe them. They were started by a bunch of women I had sex with.
3. Before we get started, you need to tell me your safe word or phrase. Hopefully I'll be able to understand it through the duct tape.
2. Will you be upset if I scream out my own name? I'm not used to having anyone else in the room when I do this.
1. I'm SO sorry. When I talked about you pleasuring "little Glenn", I assumed you knew that he was the midget who lives next door to me.
You must be one smooth operator. I've tried most of those lines to no avail :)
ReplyDelete